Hey You, yea you!! this one IS for you.... you know who you are...

I find myself drawn to you. Pulled to you by some force beyond my own understanding. There's an attraction between the two of us that is so primal and so instinctual that I can not deny that it is real. There is a gravity. A pull. A real feeling. Something that I've not felt in years, a feeling that lay dormant and sleep for so long that now that my emotions are awake, they seem so real and raw that my heart bleeds new blood with every new thought of you. I fear the unknown- I drink away my fears into submission and create a new feeling of joy and freedom. Your kisses send me to that same place- your touch throws me.

The Oblivion- By Amelia Ruiz

I wake up to sleep,
Falling forward and up
I see holes in time,
Which feel like watery spikes.

The white- grey world swirls around me,
Stripes of red and blue spinning to
Encroaching is the black
Making dark pure light.

And as I pass on through the colored oblivion,
Knowing there is no end
Thoughts, pictures, and people swirl around me,
From cave paintings to the Mona Lisa,
From Caesar to Picasso.

My breathing grows slower,
As the sweet smell of snicker doodles
Wafts through one thought.
I reach my hand tentatively through,
When I pull my hand out a soft, moist chocolate chip
Cookie awaits me, the mouse with it's cheese.

I scarf it down,
letting the sweetness
Dance on my tongue.
Slowly a song begins to play,
A single lute softly playing Greensleeves,
The music jumping with joy
Of being let free and becoming
Known to the world

I hear my alarm going off,
The oblivion starts to part
I do no worry though,
As I can come here whenever I
Fall
Asleep.


I move on in the oblivion.
I sure do love this Oblivion.

I am a boxer.
I throw my punches in time
I know when and where to fight
I keep myself to myself
Bloodied up for the last time
I fight with my love
I fight with my heart
I fight for the time I want with you
I fight what I feel

I am a boxer
I fight for me
I fight for what I need
I fight for the love I deserve
I know where to hurt and how low
I know that the corner bell comes all to early
I am bruised and dizzy
I am wanting all and more from you
I am fighting myself
I am a boxer


There is darkness in my soul that has become overwhelming. There is a hole in my heart that is growing bigger every day. I can no longer claim ownership. I cannot get away from the thoughts of you swimming laps in my head. You have set up house in the cafe of my mind and I can no longer close the doors and flip on the closed sign. My heart cannot close- I cannot protect myself from the world anymore. I am at your mercy. Be gentle, be patient, be kind. There are holes that are filled with lies, and new holes being dug every day. My heart is all of Swiss cheese and fish nets. Holes and empty spots, like that of unknown space, or a wrinkle in time. I must learn to fill those holes, but fill them myself. I must do it alone, for I am alone. Reflections of myself are all I have to go on, all I have are pieces of myself that have yet to fall into a hole or be filled in with lies. I fear I must go it alone. I’m afraid. Terrified. As the fear sets in… I feel the darkness again… the darkness has become a comfort to me… I fear it will be all I want, all I need. I fear that the darkness will surround me and swallow me whole. Then I’ll be lost. I long to be found but fear, again that I’ll have to do it myself. You are all I want yet cannot have, you can save me… but I must save myself. Here comes the darkness… bring me a light..?

Was that you?
When the breeze touched my cheek and softly ruffled my hair?
When I felt a sudden kiss?
Was it you when my skin tingled and shivered and my heart beat faster?
Was it you when I feel the softness of your breath on my neck and your whispers in my ear?
Was it you? Or a dream?


How I long for the love I see. I long for the love of films and celluloid. I dream of the stage and lights, the sent of paint and the feeling of butterflies in my stomach. I wait for the feeling, the right time of day, when the lighting is just right and the mood is perfect. Then with the setting, I wait. Wait for the kiss, wait for the feeling, wait for my leading man… to walk onstage and finish the scene… with me.

I feel myself falling.
I am not afraid of the wind whipping by my ears.
My breath being forced from my lungs, like the crushing force of a train.
The pressure on my body is welcomed, the torturous ache inside, a release.
My hair stands on end as if electrified.
The fall ever ends, there is no sudden stop.
The feeling lingers there, in the soft and sweet places on my body
Where you kissed me.





Love seems a silly word
It covers a multitude of sins and pleasures
It describes nothing but means everything
It is neither tangible nor physical
It can’t be weighed or measured
Yet it can start wars and end drought.
It can slay the greatest dragon
It can save a life
It is hard to hold and easy to find
Yet is more precious than gold
It confuses the quickest brain
It calms the mightiest fears
Love seems a silly word.