an explanation

an open explanation of my blog

this past year, spring i think- i was cleaning out the storage shed a found (much to my suprise) numerous journals and notebooks that i have kept through the years-mostly in high school and college. i've posted the year written when possible, and hope to get more online soon. i encourage feedback... so, read me.

I AM

I AM

I am FREE
I am MYSELF
I am my own person and do NOT have to bend to the mapped out life someone has laid out for me.
I am a GENERATION of learners. Of thinkers and creators.
I am the GIRL with the starry eyes who looks upwards to the sky and KNOWS that it only waits for me.
I am able to learn things my parents have never known.
I am a dreamer. I can be whomever I want, an astronaut, a mother, a nun, or a priest. I can be a doctor, a lawyer or even PRESIDENT
I am a child
I am a woman
I am a human
I AM.

Oct 3 1995

slug... and random thoughts.

Slug…
I will not aloe your evil thoughts to poison my soul. You can stay there in that dark, dank prison that you’ve made for yourself, but swear it was someone else’s hurting and cruelty. Your stubbornness to forgive, pains anyone who tries to touch you. I an done, I’ve said my piece. I will no longer insert your name for someone else’s, no longer will I try to “patch things up”. Here is where I chew you up, spit you out, look at you funny and step over you; walking on…
Jan 1 1996



I walked in the rain today. The way that we used to. I began to miss you. But then the sun came out and I could feel its warmth on my face. And then I stopped thinking about you.
Jan 6, 1995


Looking at you is like masturbation. It’s nice the first few times, but after a while, it’s better if theres someone else in the room.
Hedi
Jan 6- 1995