Wednesday, June 23, 2010


hot words
burning, scorching
flaming skin upon
melting sheets of air.
dripping wet letters
bound by chains of emotion
falling down to ears that welcome it.
thumping pulling screaming sounds.
bodies moving in a motion
known only to the
animalsistic instincts of
man who dares to let go
and experience

harmony and discord

squeezing out notes in a melodic fashion. repeating again between groans of disapproval. standing like a prize fighter before the biggest fight of his life. secure and calm, yet tension aches at his muscles and tears at his eyes. chaotic. groaning between blasts of the air like ice on a fire sparking and smoking feverishly.
squinting eyes, wrinkled forehead, moves- noble dances. sways. stands still. tilted head. bend. bounce. lift crossed legs. relaxed.
finally- Harmony.

no, little boy, i'm not writing bout your beautiful eyes or fantastic smile. you give yourself far to much credit for things you have nothing to do with. i am sick of it. yes you are nice to look at, and have a great personality. when i first met you i was impressed by your attitude about certain things. i was impressed.
now i'm sick and disgusted by your outlook. everything is a game to you. but this is a game you've lost and there is no reset button. i won't try to impress you anymore. i am stronger and understand you. prepare yourself...

Monday, June 21, 2010

my ridiculous expectations of romance

theres something about you that causes me to crumble..
something that tells me to let go...thats its ok...
ive tried to be tough because I think thats what you want to see, the tough girl who can handle anything... but that girl does't exist...
there is no tough girl in here... just the one who need your arms around her, the girl who loves to kiss you and wants to feel you near... the girl who desperately wants to makes you smile when you want to cry...
tell this girl the things she already knows but needs to hear from you...
the girl who sits next to you is longing for your attention...
the girl who sits next to you is waiting... and getting tired of it...
please hear this...
before its too late...

You there, with the great smile and sky reflecting eyes. You with the great bookish look and snarky comebacks. you stop me with your words- ripping through my facade and seeing me for who i really am... and then remindng me that all those things make me wonderful, all my flaws- accepted. all my doubts and fears reveald, you treasure me for who i am and in turn i treasure myself. thank you for that. our short time together will be with me forever, when i can't handle it- i'll remember you and cry a little wishing our time wasnt so fleeting.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

where are you?

where are you, my one true love? where are the warm arms, the sweet eyes and charming smile? i used to see your eyes light up when they met mine, now their only dead and faded. the arms that used to want to hold me are empty by your choice, the smile that would compel my heart is gone- there is no pleasure in your smile, no love in your eyes, no need to hold me or have me near. you have disappeared into a place i'm not welcome, a place i can't find... you push me away... away and away... the more you push, the farther i will drift, soon i will be gone.. and will find love in eyes that are not yours, shelter in arms of another, someone else will smile and light up when we meet... i will not be yours.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010


alone. i feel alone. alone in a house full of people. alone in a room to myself. alone on the path I walk... alone in the useless day to day feelings that emerge. Alone in the pain that bubbles up from inside me, aching to get out. Alone to feel usefull and needed. Alone to feel pathetic and abnormal. Alone to scream out to the night... alone in my need for you. want me in your life, want me near you... don't push me away in your own attempt to be strong, hold me close and prove your strength...

but i know i ask too much..
feel me slip.
watch me fail.

i'll be alone..