how....

How did this happen?
I thought you and I would be together till the end.
But the end has come.
too soon
I don't blame you... alone
I can't take the blame... alone
But our problem was that we left each other alone
I was alone while you went out with your friends... I stayed at home pretending to be the good girlfriend, not wanting to be "that girl" the jealous one who had to be with you...had to know where, when and with who.. you were a big boy with your own friends long before you met me.
I was a strong girl with my own thoughts long before you told me how wrong they were... how silly I was and how naive I sounded when I spoke.
Much to late did I realize that my naivete didn't just embarrass you, but made you feel used up and old. How my youth was waisted on you... and how your youth was waisted long before we met.
I understand now, that this toxic love was never meant to last, but we were meant for each other... but to learn how to grow up. How to be adults. How to love and let go. I thank you for that; for teaching me that your first sexual experience is meant to be short and uninspired...that boys cheat and men do not... that romance is not what you thought it was, but is what you make of it.
When I think of you now I'm left in wonder of How much we learned from each other, How we will always be these people because of the time we spent together, How what happened between us has made me a better person, not less naive; just better at it.
How could this have happened?
How could it not?