Somewhere:
maybe on this beach, maybe up a few miles, maybe even in Australia, my soul mate surfed today.
And wherever he is- he took a moment to look out from the water toward the beach- and he looked
for me
Somewhere; maybe next door, maybe even in Africa, he looked into the sky tonight- the same sky I saw.
And wherever he is- he wished upon the same star I did
wishing for the day we would meet.
Somewhere; maybe not to far away
maybe in South America, maybe South Dakota
my soul mate is sleeping
and wherever he is- before he closed his eyes tonight
He thought of me
Believing in Me
and tonight
he will dream of us.
Monday, December 6, 2010
evening
last night was incredible
last night you whispered in my ear
the things my soul longed to hear
last night you held me
last night i kissed my heart good- bye
i hoped last night would never die
last night you loved me.
last night you were incredible.
last night you whispered in my ear
the things my soul longed to hear
last night you held me
last night i kissed my heart good- bye
i hoped last night would never die
last night you loved me.
last night you were incredible.
Back Again
Back Again
Mid September
San Diego
My sisters room in her house
two o' four
AM
Sleepy but not
Tired
Trying to tell you
What your missing
Only wishing
you'd come
back again
Mid September
San Diego
My sisters room in her house
two o' four
AM
Sleepy but not
Tired
Trying to tell you
What your missing
Only wishing
you'd come
back again
Thursday, November 11, 2010
an explanation
an open explanation of my blog
this past year, spring i think- i was cleaning out the storage shed a found (much to my suprise) numerous journals and notebooks that i have kept through the years-mostly in high school and college. i've posted the year written when possible, and hope to get more online soon. i encourage feedback... so, read me.
this past year, spring i think- i was cleaning out the storage shed a found (much to my suprise) numerous journals and notebooks that i have kept through the years-mostly in high school and college. i've posted the year written when possible, and hope to get more online soon. i encourage feedback... so, read me.
I AM
I AM
I am FREE
I am MYSELF
I am my own person and do NOT have to bend to the mapped out life someone has laid out for me.
I am a GENERATION of learners. Of thinkers and creators.
I am the GIRL with the starry eyes who looks upwards to the sky and KNOWS that it only waits for me.
I am able to learn things my parents have never known.
I am a dreamer. I can be whomever I want, an astronaut, a mother, a nun, or a priest. I can be a doctor, a lawyer or even PRESIDENT
I am a child
I am a woman
I am a human
I AM.
Oct 3 1995
I am FREE
I am MYSELF
I am my own person and do NOT have to bend to the mapped out life someone has laid out for me.
I am a GENERATION of learners. Of thinkers and creators.
I am the GIRL with the starry eyes who looks upwards to the sky and KNOWS that it only waits for me.
I am able to learn things my parents have never known.
I am a dreamer. I can be whomever I want, an astronaut, a mother, a nun, or a priest. I can be a doctor, a lawyer or even PRESIDENT
I am a child
I am a woman
I am a human
I AM.
Oct 3 1995
slug... and random thoughts.
Slug…
I will not aloe your evil thoughts to poison my soul. You can stay there in that dark, dank prison that you’ve made for yourself, but swear it was someone else’s hurting and cruelty. Your stubbornness to forgive, pains anyone who tries to touch you. I an done, I’ve said my piece. I will no longer insert your name for someone else’s, no longer will I try to “patch things up”. Here is where I chew you up, spit you out, look at you funny and step over you; walking on…
Jan 1 1996
I walked in the rain today. The way that we used to. I began to miss you. But then the sun came out and I could feel its warmth on my face. And then I stopped thinking about you.
Jan 6, 1995
Looking at you is like masturbation. It’s nice the first few times, but after a while, it’s better if theres someone else in the room.
Hedi
Jan 6- 1995
I will not aloe your evil thoughts to poison my soul. You can stay there in that dark, dank prison that you’ve made for yourself, but swear it was someone else’s hurting and cruelty. Your stubbornness to forgive, pains anyone who tries to touch you. I an done, I’ve said my piece. I will no longer insert your name for someone else’s, no longer will I try to “patch things up”. Here is where I chew you up, spit you out, look at you funny and step over you; walking on…
Jan 1 1996
I walked in the rain today. The way that we used to. I began to miss you. But then the sun came out and I could feel its warmth on my face. And then I stopped thinking about you.
Jan 6, 1995
Looking at you is like masturbation. It’s nice the first few times, but after a while, it’s better if theres someone else in the room.
Hedi
Jan 6- 1995
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
how....
How did this happen?
I thought you and I would be together till the end.
But the end has come.
too soon
I don't blame you... alone
I can't take the blame... alone
But our problem was that we left each other alone
I was alone while you went out with your friends... I stayed at home pretending to be the good girlfriend, not wanting to be "that girl" the jealous one who had to be with you...had to know where, when and with who.. you were a big boy with your own friends long before you met me.
I was a strong girl with my own thoughts long before you told me how wrong they were... how silly I was and how naive I sounded when I spoke.
Much to late did I realize that my naivete didn't just embarrass you, but made you feel used up and old. How my youth was waisted on you... and how your youth was waisted long before we met.
I understand now, that this toxic love was never meant to last, but we were meant for each other... but to learn how to grow up. How to be adults. How to love and let go. I thank you for that; for teaching me that your first sexual experience is meant to be short and uninspired...that boys cheat and men do not... that romance is not what you thought it was, but is what you make of it.
When I think of you now I'm left in wonder of How much we learned from each other, How we will always be these people because of the time we spent together, How what happened between us has made me a better person, not less naive; just better at it.
How could this have happened?
How could it not?
I thought you and I would be together till the end.
But the end has come.
too soon
I don't blame you... alone
I can't take the blame... alone
But our problem was that we left each other alone
I was alone while you went out with your friends... I stayed at home pretending to be the good girlfriend, not wanting to be "that girl" the jealous one who had to be with you...had to know where, when and with who.. you were a big boy with your own friends long before you met me.
I was a strong girl with my own thoughts long before you told me how wrong they were... how silly I was and how naive I sounded when I spoke.
Much to late did I realize that my naivete didn't just embarrass you, but made you feel used up and old. How my youth was waisted on you... and how your youth was waisted long before we met.
I understand now, that this toxic love was never meant to last, but we were meant for each other... but to learn how to grow up. How to be adults. How to love and let go. I thank you for that; for teaching me that your first sexual experience is meant to be short and uninspired...that boys cheat and men do not... that romance is not what you thought it was, but is what you make of it.
When I think of you now I'm left in wonder of How much we learned from each other, How we will always be these people because of the time we spent together, How what happened between us has made me a better person, not less naive; just better at it.
How could this have happened?
How could it not?
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